Dear Future Wife

Dear Future wife,
It is me, your future husband.
How are you? I know you are angry that I haven't showed up,  Biko don't be because I am not showing up like this,  Don't misunderstand me ooo,  but until I can afford a Diamond ring with which to engage you,  I am not showing up,  in fact there are
plenty things that are blocking me from showing up just yet so I decided to write you this letter and tell you.

Number one,  I am not about to marry you and me and you will start flying bike up and down. Already these people are yabbing me that I fly bike a lot, so I won't want them to yab you too. If I show up now,  we will be climbing two on one bike and one day one person will now fall out and it will likely be me cos i will be the one staying in the outta side of the bike, so I will now die and I know you will go and marry another man because the way am seeing you eh,  your eye no Dey house.
So, no, i am not not showing up like this. I must buy motor first.

Number Two,  The house where am staying now eh,  our landlord does not like girls/women to visit the boys in the compound, so I cannot be living here and come and show up. Dear wife, I don't even like this landlord sef, he looks like somebody that will use money and collect you from me,  he is not God-fearing. so I won't even want you to meet him. I am currently trying to pack out from here,  so that me and you can now be seeing and be planning our wedding.
And until then,  Am not showing up.

Dear wife,  this number three get as e be oo,  but I will tell you still. See eh,  there is on girl that is still confusing me now,  one mind is telling me she could be you oo,  but then how can I be sure?  Anyway, I am not giving her all my energy just in case she's not you. I still know there is a boy that is confusing you too,  greet him for me sha. And beg him to Please take it easy on you with spending because if his money finish you will leave him before I am ready.  So let him be holding it down for me till am ready. Inugo?

Baby eh,  the fourth reason is that all my friends have refused to marry oo,  and because of that,  I am not even having the ginger to show up.
All these boys I call friends are till here doing fresh boy and 'Badest guy ever liveth',  and the girls are doing 'pepper them gang' and slay queen. If to say I was going to wedding back to back from them,  I would have had the hunger to come and find you. But,  anyway whether they do or not,  me am tired of waiting for them so I am coming to find you soon.

Nwanyi oma, one part of me is even telling me that we have meant before. I have this feeling that you are around me somewhere but maybe you don't know that it's you am talking about yet. Yes na,  there is no way I will have 5k friends on facebook, 2k+ followers on instagram, over 600 phone contact and the small number of people following me on twitter, plus all these platforms are dominated by woman and you are not there. I seriously doubt.
And in case you have seen me,  I hope you like what you see,  if not,  use style and drop some hints,  just don't tell me about 6packs,  cos me I have tried and that one has refused to come.  So in place of that 6packs,  I will have 6cars and I hope that settles it.

Dear wife,  since I just talked about hints, lemme drop some for you oo. Biko,  try and be fine facially, because I cannot be ugly and you will be ugly too,  our children will curse us. I know you have a beautiful personality and you believe in inner beauty,  good! but nobody walks around with X-ray to show how beautiful they are inside. So please I beg you,  for the sake of our future kids,  be fine.
Secondly,  Be Tall and fair,  am already short and dark enough for our generation. So let's use you to create children that can at least play basketball and wear black polo at night without fear of being knocked down by a car. If not our kids will be as dark as 12midnight and so short the only games they might play will be board games like 'Ludo', scrabble.... Etc.

Baby m,  please have it at the back of your mind that we will have 4 kids,  two boys and two girls. (Don't worry I have learnt how to determine the sex of a child) and it is your job to name all of them. We won't drag it. Just let me give them 1 Hebrew name each. The two boys will be "KADOSH" and "ZAMAR" while the girls will be "TEHILAH" and "BERACHAH"..... don't worry I will tell you the meaning of these names when we meet.

Finally baby,  it's not just about what I want ooo, as long as we love and understand each other,  all these things I listed here are just pluses,  whether you have them or not,  I will still take you like that.
I promise you one thing my darling, I WILL MAKE EVERY OTHER WOMAN JEALOUS OF YOU.


with love from your future husband
Prince Neche
😘 😘😘😘❤❤❤❤❤